Twitter is to blogging what modern abstract is to art: the idea that if an entire idea can describe in that short of a sentence, it must be genius.

It’s days like these where I find myself totally incapable of coming up with anything to write over thirty days in advance. In an attempt to guess and still remain current, read Penny Arcade today. It’s hilarious.

One of my loves since childhood has always been roleplaying, and with Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition becoming so vastly popular, I have once again tapped into the crystal ball to see what’s in store for the next edition of everyone’s favorite dwarf-laden tabletop game.

• Human and half-elf characters will be done away with and replaced by the mindflayer and pixie. This will result in more exciting gameplay without all that meticulous stat development to make an actually worthwhile character.
• To increase in-game diversity, dark-skinned characters will be given additional bonuses to charmisma and charisma-based skills.
• In order to alleviate player-to-player mockery, official average height of the halfling is being raised from 3′4″ to 4′8″.
• The magic system for wizards and sorcerors is being simplified by means of “gathering” available spells into a deck of cards, which can be played by “tapping” mana.
• In a constant attempt to streamline gameplay, the esoteric concept of a “dungeon master” is being done away with in fifth edition, replaced by an autonomous collective composed of the players, in which all major story elements are elected by a vote of two-thirds majority, and a seven-eighths majority in the case of NPC actions.

In light of my previous post, here is a list of blogs that the world needs more of. Maybe you should start one.

1. Obscure Food Blogs

Sure, there are food blogs. Food-bloggers love their job, becuase with enough notoriety they start getting free handouts (or at least a discount). But the majority of what I see (outside of thisiswhyyourefat.com) is the almost cliche’d “This Starbucks is better than the other one, because the other one’s not as good. (They really need to put a light there, because it’s hard to make a left turn.)” And so on. What the blogging world at large needs is another one of those bizarre food blogs, that isn’t afraid to tell you to go ahead and try the squid, but be sure to eat it head-first, so it knows which way to squirm.

2. Survival Blogs

Maybe I just haven’t searched hard enough, but I have yet to see one of these floating around. The world needs blogs devoted solely to the survival of intense, obscure, worst-case, and unlikely scenarios. From zombie uprisings to robotic hamster invasions.

3. Programming Function Blogs

There are plenty of tutorials for various programming languages out there, but very few blogs that take a specific language, and each day/week/whatever picks a new function, and shows off cool and unique ways of using it. That would be cool.

4. Fictional Life Blogs

The number one use of a blog is to write about one’s own life, but what about writing about a life that isn’t your own? Tell the world about how you scaled Mt. Everest today to visit the world’s coldest beer keg, or how your pet dragon finally breathed his first flames. These blogs give us not only a much-accepted pause from reality, but a brief glimpse into a satire of real life as we know it.

Around here is where I get burnt out for ideas. The problem with pre-writing, dear readers, is that these darn tachyon storms keep interfering with my ability to see into the future and stay current with the posts. In lieu of that, I have decided to use this post to encourage you to start your own blog, and post a link to it in a comment. (I recommend tumblr) Start networking, write posts inspired by posts here or other places. If you write a post that you think others may like, post a link to it here or the forums.

You see, it’s my dream that one day we have a vast network of writers creating a veritable web of unceasing information, all playing off each other. At any given moment, a reader can be presented with an entire, in-depth view on a popular subject of the day, leave a comment, and that comment sparks either a new subject, or brings up a past argument that will be brought to life in new context.

It is my firm belief that everyone has something to write about, even if -in some cases- it appears to be writing about how everyone has something to write about. Every little bit helps ease the flow of information into something that may one day be truly spectacular.

Oh dear, this really is the hump week of this excursion. At the time of writing this, dear reader, understand that I know nothing of what the trip will be like, but if experience tells me anything, if we can survive this, we can survive most things. (Especially, I may add, the zombie invasion mentioned in my last post.)

Up up, down down, left right, left right, a, b, select, start.

It is a well-known fact that I, as both a web-logger and human being, am widely regarded for my skills in vanquishing the constantly uprising zombie hordes. As I am currently out of the country, the undead entourages may take this opportunity to rise, yet again. In case of such emergency, here are some friendly tips from the experts.

Get to Know your Friends.

Start coming up with ways to kill each and every one of them, should they turn to the dark side. (This rule goes not only for your friends, but everyone else.)

Be Aware of Your Surroundings

Do this for practice: when you enter a room, think of ways to either escape, or kill everyone in the room who may be under necromantic influence. (This may or may not include yourself, depending on your likeliness to become one of the horde.)

Know Where Your Shovel Is

The shovel is the second-most useful object in the zombie-slayer’s arsenal, besides the towel. You can use it to dig traps, fill in graves, dig new graves, and use the sharper end for decapitation.

Know Where Your Towel Is

For obvious reasons.

Keep Your Head

Much like your undead foes, you are useless without your head. Take care of it.

Today, or at least by today, I wish to have tried chicken feet. It’s always been an odd dream of mine to do so, and now that I am in a position to make it possible I feel I must act while the proverbial getting is good.

It’s the middle week, folks. We’re a little over our half-way point here at Hong Kong, probably more than a little bit tired all around. It’s kind of funny to thnk that as of writing this, I’ve only just now added my teammates on Facebook, and still have two weeks before I met them in person. As of posting this, however, I will have lived with these people for two weeks, and have probably gotten to know them like a second family. Or maybe not, that’s the fun of pre-writing, I get to be naively optimistic. Phrase of the week right there, kiddies. As we get over the “hump week,” optimism and joking around will be one of the only things keeping us going. That and day-old sushi, if I know myself as well as I would like to think I do.

About day thirteen is where I begin to lose track of what day it is. Right now, it could literally be any day of the week, and I will think it’s Friday. It’s Friday.

Four days from now I will lose track of the week, and possibly month.